'twirled like a ballerina'

clearly i am the worst blogger of all time since i refuse to be consistent in my blogging as of late. i keep telling myself that ill be better about it... we all see how well that has been working out. but i have recently been thinking about the lack of my blogging during my most recent pregnancy, i started worrying that fin might look back or hear stories and feel left out about my not sharing every detail of his pre-life life... so im going to tell the story of his birth and honestly, i dont know how awesome hes gonna feel about that either.

we will start with the wbb (week before birth), i went to my final check up before reaching the almighty week 40, i was totally hoping to set an induction date if i didnt have him on my own by the time the magical projected date of arrival rolled around. so the dr checks me out and of course i was only dilated 1 cm... but as hes checkin out the downtown i am in some serious pain, it was hurting like woah. and i so dont remember that hurting when i had the first, but i definitely cried this time around, and thats when he informed me that my uterus is posterior which basically means that it was tilted backwards so he was all up in there to check it and thats why it hurt. not cool. i didnt think much more about it at the time... and because he made me cry he felt bad and went ahead and set up my induction date, including two rounds of the fantastic cervical gel to help my body get in gear which of course it didnt...

so the hubs and i get to the hospital all bright and early and totally ready to have a baby! ok, maybe we werent that enthusiastic but you know...

i get all hooked up with the iv and pitocin and not long after my contractions start which is awesome because who wants to be in labor all day long? so theyre coming on stronger and stronger and they decide to break my water which is a totally weird feeling, it didnt work out the right way the last time so it was kinda a new experience this time around. i totally felt like i was peeing the bed but like the most pee ever in your life all at one time... weird. a little after that the contractions are becoming a little more painful so they decide to go ahead and give me the epidural- yes! the dr said i could probably wait a little longer but my nurse kinda pushed for it so they said ok... not that it mattered much. so i get the epidural and its almost like instant relief, for about 5 minutes then all the pain i was feeling in my stomach had just transferred down lower to my actual vagina. thats right, i was feeling the contractions in my vajayjay. its a little alarming to me since i felt absolutely nothing when i had my first. so im saying 'hey, this might be weird but im feeling the contractions in my downtown,' the nurse tells me to go ahead and push the button to release more medicine (didnt have that luxury the first time around either). so im in a lot of pain now and i can only describe what i looked like as 'writhing in pain.' only because i was holding my body up with my hands on the rails of the bed and was doing everything i could to keep the lower half of my body from touching the bed because the pressure in the downtown was outrageous. so im kinda thrashing around yelling about how its time to push and how i just cant understand why i feel it when my mom finally grabs the nurse to come and check me out. they had just checked me not three minutes earlier and i was about 6 cm dilated (you have to get to 10) so shes thinking that im not ready but when she takes a peek she rushes outta the room saying they need to get the dr in there now. she starts prepping me for pushing but all im doing is pushing and pushing that button yelling about all the pressure when she comes over to me, gently puts her hand on my arm and calmly says 'honey, if youre still feeling it then youre just gonna feel it.' im sure i looked like a deer in the headlights because i was absolutely shocked that my epidural wasnt gonna work. so all throughout pushing (which felt like hours and didnt even last 10 mintues) i just kept yelling 'but why?! why can i feel it?! i just dont understand!' at some point the dr is trying to get my attention because the baby was upside down in there which is why that whole 'posterior' thing earlier mattered. so while im feeling all this pressure and pain from a baby trying to gegt out of my vagina, i now have to push in a certain way that the dr is describing to me so i can help to turn the baby over. apparently when i did what he said the baby just twirled right around like a 'ballerina in a music box,' according to my mom. side note: my first labor i banished the hubs to above my shoulders so he wouldnt see the horrors going on in the downtown area but this time because everything was so fast and rushed, i was all sorts of spread eagle on that bed with no sheet or anything to keep anyone from seeing anything. so its a good thing that at some point right before the pushing began i screamed at my sis to get my son outta there, i feel certain he wouldve been scarred for life seeing something like that. ok, so the baby twirled, he came out and was good to go. he was 6.14 lbs and 20.75 inches long.

im back!

its been a real long time and i totally shouldve kept up with this thing much better throughout this pregnancy but having a crazy little man running around and knowing that people i know read this means ive been having a hard time being completely honest the way i was the first time around... not that ive lied about anything, i just havent given out all my gory details. and in my life gory = hilarious. ha ha!

so gory details quick!

i still pee when i sneeze and laugh, and new to this pregnancy, i also pee when i cough! ta-da! and if we decide to go down pregnancy road again i most certainly will try to have another summer pregnancy... winter pregnancies almost always equal catching at least one cold and with colds come coughing... terrible, awful, pee-causing coughing. sadly and disgustingly enough i even had to wear a pad because every two seconds i was peeing just a little, and by day two of being sick i had run out of all clean underpants! terrible. so the pads were a gross must.

gross fact #2: i complained about constipation my last pregnancy as well, but if i had known what i would go through with this one, i wouldve kept my mouth shut! oh ma gah! my iron fortified, poop preventing prenatal vitamins teamed up with my also constipation causing vomit meds and decided to wage war against me. i actually had to do something that i never thought i would ever do... numerous times. i have only just recently been able to go without the use of duh duh duh... a disgust-o-rama enema! gross.

ok... that is all for the yuck of pregnant krp.

onto the baby business. up until yesterday everything was going just fine. i stopped losing weight from being sick all the time which is good, i havent had to take a vomit pill in almost two weeks which means i can poop on my own (very good), and the baby was growing right on track. my dr even said the other day that i am 'carrying the baby beautifully in my pelvis.' ha ha!

i did have a little weirdness that i was pretty reluctant to mention to the dr just because i felt like an idiot... the baby was moving really weird, i would have described it as a 'fluttering,' just like the early movements but it didnt really make sense since hes so much bigger now. so i asked the dr if that might be normal or if there was any possibility that the baby could be having a seizure inside. i was told that there are mixed feelings about it but it was definitely something he wanted to look into, so i was sent back to the specialist to have a more targeted ultrasound to make sure everything was ok. the first visit went fine, he was doing well, his growth was right on track and nothing looked out of the ordinary. but i still had to come back 4 weeks later for another check up, that wass yesterday.

fast forward to yesterday and big changes... the baby isnt doing so great anymore. i had the regular stuff done with the regular tech i always see there and i could tell that something wasnt right because she kept trying to measure something with the oxygen and blood levels and clearly she wasnt getting the results she wanted. so i was done, she said the dr would take a look and possibly bring me back in there to look at some other things. they took me to another room, had another tech do some more checking on the blood and oxygen but i couldnt see anything in this room, the screen was definitely not facing my direction. then after more waiting the dr finally came in and did some more measuring, i had been in there for about an hour and a half before they told me anything... that is torture for anyone, let alone a crazy, hormonal pregnant lady. i finally found out that the baby is now measuring pretty small, and his head is measuring even small than his already small body. the only measurement they gave me was his weight at 3.13 lbs and that is below the 10%... and the umbilical cord is wrapped around his neck and possibly his shoulder, and this might be the reason that his growth has slowed down. not fun news to hear at all.

so the plan of action is to monitor the baby more closely, i will now have ultrasounds every other week and in the meantime i have to fill out a movement/kick chart everyday which they say is really just for me to be more aware of the babys movements or lack thereof. if we dont hit a certain number of movements in a day, or there is a big change from one day to the next i need to get in touch with the dr immediately. kinda scary. but were really hoping that the baby will figure out how to get out of his little cord mess hes gotten himself into... and if things stay this way then were thinking that ill probably keep him in here for at least 4 more weeks and maybe theyll take him early like they did with our first. we will see! its just a big scary waiting game now.

the pregnancy itchies.

wow, so clearly i have neglected the blog as of late. not that there hasnt been anything to write about because believe me, i have some terribly embarrassing stories i could tell... but i think because so many people have come up to me to tell me that they read my blog im a little more reserved this time around. i just dont want to go out and hang out with kids and wonder if they are thinking about whether or not i peed myself when i laughed 15 minutes ago... i know, i have to go ahead and bite the bullet because lets face it, embarrassing things are way more entertaining to read than blah blah baby doctor stuff.

so today im just gonna recap my dr appt this morning, but if youre lucky you might be able to read a ridiculous story of the two top things on my 'things krp does not like during pregnancy' list. maybe... ok, just check back tomorrow-ish for the funnies.

so i saw a new dr at the practice this morning and he was GREAT! ive had a (very) little spotting that i didnt worry about at all because i had the same thing with ave and it was never a problem but when i told him about it he seemed slightly concerned and made sure that i know that if there is anymore that i should definitely call... another issue was the terrible rash that i had the entire time i was pregnant last time, he was worried that it could possibly be a liver issue Cholestasisso he ordered some bloodwork. its more likely just a reaction from my body to all the extra hormones going crazy in here. PUPPS PUPPS infoso i should get a call tomorrow morning letting me know the results, but i will absolutely be shocked if its anything other than 'everything looks fine.'

it took a little while to find the baby's heartbeat, but it always does... im hoping this isnt an indication that my child will be difficult. ha ha! oh and the dr made his prediction that the baby is a boy, so we will see next week if he was right. woohoo!

chubby girl

so i went back to the dr yesterday for my check up after the bad pee pee. we went over the results of the stuff that was sent out and they figured out that i was not dehydrated, he said that my urine was 'nice and diluted, just the way they like it.' ha ha! it made me laugh. so i guess the real issue is that they think that i am either not eating enough, or throwing up too much. there were ketones in the pee pee which means my body is breaking down fat for calories and i guess that is not the ideal situation while pregnant. it was funny to me later thinking about my dr telling a chubby girl that she has some sort of issue that resembles either anorexia or bulemia... clearly i do not have either of those problems in the real world.

ketone info

long story short, everything is ok but he still wants me to come in again next week just to check up on the baby one more time, then i think i should be good with the dr visits until next month! woohoo!

i do want to touch on a subject that i complained about during my last pregnancy... constipation is the absolute worst. number one, the pregnancy hormones on their own help the constipation, and then you combine that with the prenatal vitamins and all the extra iron, and now my vomit meds are helping to contribute to the whole non-pooing of my life and that equals me being miserable. so i am now taking prenatal vitamins, vomit meds, tylenol, and a stool softener daily... awesome. im pretty sure babies require a lot of work pre-birth just to get you ready for when they actually arrive.

pregnancy = no poo poos. rememba dat.

proteins in the pee pees.

i am the lame sauce, i cant believe how long its been since ive written. of course hilarious and disgusting things have taken place but i guess im just too tired to write about them half the time. and for some reason i always think of great things to write about and good ways to word them when i am in bed falling asleep, then i totally cant remember anything when i wake up... sad day.

so i guess since i last wrote i have continued my gross vomitting that is not unlike taking out the christmas trash with one difference. it is now coming out with a fury! i dont know that i have ever projectile vomitted before but thats definitely how ive been lately, awesome!

i had a dr appt last week and it was pretty early in the monring after a night of throwing up so when i went in and peed in the cup i had protein in my urine which i hear is not a good thing. then they were a little concerned that i had lost more weight so i guess they were thinking that maybe i was dehydrated from all the throwing up which could account for the protein in my urine... soooo... i got a prescription for the anti-vomitness! woohoo!!! but because of the proteins in the pee pee i had to pee in a cup two more times, so i was there forever trying to work up more pee. and i have to go back in this week so they can do another pee check, fun!

we did the whole halloween thing this weekend which was super fun! my lil sis went to a party dressed up as me and half of our friends thought that she actually was me... ill post a pic later. and ave dressed up as a giraffe last night, we didnt do any trick or treating since he doenst eat candy or anything, but he did do a great job helping me give out candy. basically he would dive his little hands into the candy bowl and fling candy out in the yard, it was a good time. crazy kid. i will also post pics of this later...

christmas trash.

so ive come to the realization that while not all pregnancies are the same, my pregnancies are similar with little tweaks here and there...

this time around i am super emotional, i can cry at the drop of a hat and whats worse is that i am also getting totally angry outta nowhere. which is really weird because in my non-pregnant life im not normally an angry person. but these next 7 months- watch out!

another similar difference is the vomitting. i threw up a ton with avery and i am throwing up just as much with this little lime in the belly. (the baby is the size of a lime now...) how big is my baby in a comparative way that i would understand like food

with my first little sweetness the vomitting was short and sweet if you will. it was kinda like taking out the trash after youve been on vacation for a week so theres really not all the much but you feel like you should be taking it out anyway but it takes no time because theres like one bag and the can is super light. with baby 2.0 its more like taking out the trash on the first pick up day after christmas... oh my gosh, no one wants that job. theres boxes, and bags, and wrapping paper, and all the leftover food from having tons of family over. and on top of that theres all of the regular day to day trash that has built up because during the holidays the trash pick up isnt as frequent or regular. you feel like theres crap everywhere and it takes hours to get all the trash accumulated and outta the house. and then when youre done youre all tired and exhausted and you feel like now the outside of your house looks all trashy because all the cans are filled up so you have boxes next to the can and the wind is blowin it around... you get the picture.

so im just hoping that i will have the magical 2nd trimester people always talk about where they totally stop vomitting and they have all of their energy back and everything is rainbows and unicorns.

my own hell.

i totally just experienced the worst thing of my life. yes, the WORST.

me and the dino are hanging out and i finally get our lazy selves together to go to the store. stells is completely out of food after her bowl this morning so i am forced to go.

anyway, i go out to the car to put ave in and i see a tiny yellow-white spider on the door handle... i HATE spiders no matter how small, theres just too many legs and it totally creeps me out. so as im looking at the door handle and trying to figure out where i can quickly grab and open without fear of that terrible eight legged evilness touching me, i notice that there is a huge brown spider on my sleeve. of course i scream like a girl and drop the diaper bag thats in the spider hand onto the ground. and after furiously shaking my arm until i am satisfied that the second ecounter of evil is no longer on any part of me, i finally put avery in his seat and buckle him up.

i totally have the heebie jeebies at this point. i open my door and when i do, a bunch of crap falls, kinda like in the springtime when you go out to your car and theres pollen everywhere so crap goes flying everytime you open a door... anyway, the crap falls and i take a closer look and realize that there are hundreds of little baby spiders all over the door frame and it was something spider related that fell. OH. MY. GOSH... im standing there almost frozen because i hate those little creepy mccreepersons so much that i almost failed to notice what i can only assume was the huge mama spider now on averys door.

im panicking at this point thinking that i have to save my child from the disgusting grossness that is spiders but i totally dont want to touch that door. but of course im a mom and i have to put my craziness aside, i open the door, huge mama spider comes around to the inside- DISGUSTING, and i reach in, quickly unhook ave and get him the heck outta there.

this was probably 20 minutes ago and i still feel like there are spiders all over me. my dad is dropping the car off tonight at the dealership to be detailed in the morning.



ok... maybe it wasnt this bad but it felt like it...