a moms st pattys day...

its days like st. patricks day that really remind you that youre a parent. not that id ever forget... a cummulative 18+ months of pregnancy, one 14 hour labor, one 6 hour (with an epidural that didnt take) labor, two thousand five hundred and forty eight diapers, and of course two sweet smiling little boys make it hard to forget.

but on holidays where the entire point of the day, to most of the population is to get absolutely beligerent, you remember that you are now a parent and cant really take part in those festivities. and most of the time it doesnt even bother me.

while most of you were out at 8 am doing the awesome kegs and eggs thing, i was making my children banana chocolate chips pancakes- they were delicious. and while you were all partying hard wearing head to toe green, i was with my fam heading out to vienna to buy new bras because my massively huge, still breastfeeding boobies finally broke my last normal bra. thats right, the last one. that poor thing was being washed and worn over and over again because it was the only one that fit. who wouldnt break under that pressure? pun intended. ha ha! and after said bra shopping excursion, while you were all taking a break from boozing with a bit of refuel action, we went to babies r us and purchased a double jogging stroller, so i can finally get outside with my lily white children and attempt to lose some of this weight accumulated during my almost back to back pregnancies. we then went home to let our littles nap. and when they woke up and you were all out for round two, we headed to target to both test out the new stroller and get soymilk and prune juice because the big boy is constipated again.

so in a nutshell, that was our day. and for the most part i dont miss being able to party hard with all my friends. but i definitely wouldnt have minded having a green beer or two...

get to pinnin...

can i be dorkily honest? my current pet peeve, which shouldnt be a pet peeve at all, is pinterest. i both love and hate that site. i get so annoyed when i log on, and refresh only to find like two rows of new stuff until i start running into my own pins from the day before.

really? i am following over one hundred people. only 10 of you have looked at and/or pinned anything from 9 am the morning before. i only really get on in the morning because thats when the kids are doing brekkis and they mainly do their own little playtime... so when i log on in the morning and only get to look at my own things. mad.

i want dinner ideas for tonight. i want to see some fun new activity to do with my chilluns. i want cutesy party ideas for the upcoming first birthday of my littles. i want to see a delicious treat to make this weekend. i want to look at one million craft ideas that i try to convince myself that i will do, but in reality just want to fool myself into thinking im crafty. i want to laugh at the other silly goobs out there that also love harry potter. but mostly i wanna feel like im not the only one that checks out pinterest on a daily basis.

so come on you lazy bums. get to pinnin.

kroof pinterest


try to tell me that didnt make you giggle... just a little bit.

mom jeans.

while out with some super fun friends last night i kept having a problem. i was sitting in a chair that had an open back, and even though my jeans are not exactly low rise, my crack just refused to stay concealed. im fairly positive that every five minutes i was awkwardly adjusting my shirt to stretch all the way over my huge rump just so i didnt have the whole plumbers butt thing going on.

so it got me thinking... i really hate jeans. i prefer linen pants, although i prefer them much more when im about 50 lbs less than i am right now.

not gonna lie, im definitely one of those moms that chills out in sweat pants all day long unless i have to actually leave my house. and sadly im turning my children into bum clothes loving, sweatpant wearing little relaxicats. jeans are just so uncomfortable. well, theyre uncomfortable to me anyway.

i guess there was a time when i did love a good pair of jeans, but that was pre-baby, pre-chub chub body. but i think once you become a mom, jeans are so much harder to wear. because even if you are a little chubby without baby, your weight gain is probably evenly distributed-ish, but after you have a baby, or even worse for a jean wearing body, babies, a lot of weight stays in the belly area. i currently hate my belly.

and this brings us to mom jeans. after you have a baby and you have the jiggle belly going on, the mom jeans seem a bit more appealing... maybe not the mom jeans everyone pictures when you think about 'mom jeans,' but certainly some sort of magic jeans that keep the tum tum in control. a low waist jean means your belly will most definitely jiggle and hang out everywhere. a high waist jean is just terrible in every way. terrible looking, terrible feeling. terrible. so i just wish there was a perfect jean that was made higher than low waist, but lower than high waist, with a good crotch to waistband ratio. that also has a little stretch allowance so those of us with giant rumps dont have to constantly worry about crack sightings.


i mean really, if jessica simpson cant pull off mom jeans, how can anyone else?

50 shades of confusion...

ok, so admittedly i am a total nerd. my one true hobby that i dont have to force myself to do, (i am so not crafty, but i feel like in order to be a 'good mom' i should be... terrible, i know) is reading. i love to read. i love to get into a great series that will literally make me sad when its over.

naturally i go through books pretty quickly, especially now that i have my awesome kindle- totally recommend to anyone that enjoys reading btw. so i buy books through amazon when i get suggestions online, from friends, and wherever i happen to hear that theres a good book. a recent purchase was spawned from a radio show. i didnt catch the entire story because lets face it, im a mom... rarely do i get to fully pay attention to anything other than my children. all i really heard was that there was some big stir about this book called '50 shades of grey.' so i jump onto amazon real quick and have it sent to my kindle before i forget about it. i actually thought that they were talking about a book high schoolers were reading that parents were having a problem with... after starting the book, i am positive that i made all of that up in my head.

fast forward a bit, i finally finish 'the shack,' -did not enjoy. i start scrolling through my unread titles and remember the '50 shades' books. i absolutely have no idea what its about and i start reading...

it is not at all what i expected. theres a virgin fantasizing about some dude, some dirty making out in an elevator, and a lot of s & m... im a little confused because you remember i thought this was a high school recommended reading, and after doing a bit of research it is obvious that i am currently reading an erotic novel. hilarious. i have never read an erotic novel before and really the closest ive ever come to reading a romance novel would be twilight. 50 shades of grey

above is what the news has to say about this current erotic novel trend in book clubs across the us.

im going to finish the book because i hate not finishing a story unless i absolutely hate it, but i do feel a bit embarrassed reading it. especially since i do most of my reading while nursing my baby... maybe ill shelf it for awhile, or at least read something else during baby time.

long story short, for all you ladies out there that want the dirtier, more adult scenes that you didnt get in twilight, '50 shades of grey' is definitely for you.

waspy ants.

i love spring and i hate spring.

PROS: warmer weather means cook outs, fun time at parks & playgrounds, hangin out with the windows open, eventually pool time, and basically any outdoor activity is welcomed.

CONS: BUGS.

now normally the regular bugs dont bother me so much... of course i hate spiders. you can refer to the previous post: my own hell. 2010. but ants, stink bugs, flies and such, i can totally deal with. although last year while hanging out at my aunts pool i did see a bug that totally creeped me out. after a little bit of research i found it that what i saw was a red velvet ant, also known as the cow killer. gross. and apparently its not an ant at all, but a ground dwelling wasp. and it doesnt really kill cows, but the anty wasps sting is supposed to be turrible!


so this morning im on the phone with my mom and straightening up the kids toys while theyre eating breakfast, (why? i have no idea- they are gonna tear up the living room again in less than 60 seconds anyway) i notice a bug on the windowsill. on closer inspection i realize that its a red velvet ant! ugh!!!! i have a red velvet ant IN. MY. HOUSE! right near the kids toys... not happy.

mine isnt quite as big as the one in the picture, it might be a bit young, but a weird waspy grossness all the same. so i caught it under a baby bottle and will attempt to move it shortly so it can await its demise away from the babies. the hubs will receive a picture of what he needs to destroy shortly. fun for him.

morning lesbian.

so this is completely unrelated to my children in any way other than my husband, my sister and i are completely obsessed with a new game and my poor children may be slightly jealous of our iphones.

my husband and i went out to dinner a couple nights ago with some friends who all have iphones. being new to the club, the only things i really had on mine were some apps for the kids including a monster maker app, a diego game, and fun little way to call elmo. best mom ever, right? anyway, our friends told us about this game 'draw something,' everyone was cracking up about it so i installed right then. for those of you that have never played, its kinda like pictionary and word scramble together. someone draws a picture (you get to watch the whole process, not just the end result) and you guess what it is with the letters given to you.

i started playing it later that night once i put the kids down, and our friends were right. super fun, super hilarious. so of course i had to get my husband on the bandwagon. shortly after i got my sister to jump right on that cart with us.

i have some friends that are super good at it, for instance:



but i have definitely gotten some pictures that i had absolutely no idea what the heck they were and if i had known that my obsession would grow so great as to write a blog post about it, i wouldve taken a picture. but, on to the best part of this story.

yesterday i got a picture from my sister. it started out being a blonde woman with blue eyes. im looking at it for awhile thinking that it could be almost any woman, then slowly writing starts to appear at the top... it says, in the most ridiculous kindergarten looking writing that i have ever seen, 'morning lesbian.' i start laughing when i realize that my sister has attempted to draw 'ellen.'

so the next time youre flipping through the channels and you see that ellen is on, or you see one of the many new jc penny commercials, just remember 'morning lesbian.'

darn it, daddy!

hes probaby too cool for darn it...
as some of you may know, my older child has recently started saying 'dannit.' and while dannit doesnt look bad, it is clearly his toddler version of damn it.

of course there have been some arguments as to who is the one to blame for our foul mouthed minor... my husband says that i say it in reference to our dog who is often standing right in front of me when i try to walk around holding the baby. i say that my husband says it in frustration to one of the many household fix ups that isnt quite cooperating with him. and anyone that knows my mom knows that 'dammit,' couldve almost been considered her catch phrase for a time. she has cleaned up her act since our little mockingbird has learned to speak, but the blame game prevails.

i must admit in my 'things my toddler shouldnt say' post that i am the culprit behind my sweet blonde haired baby saying 'crap.' i say crap like its going out of style. and while it isnt the worst thing he could say, it certainly isnt desirable, and neither are the looks from judgy parents when my child says it at the completely appropriate time of dropping his juice cup.

so, after trying to hide our giggles the first couple times that 'dannit' escaped from his lips, we have all decided to ignore his little cursings, hoping that he would forget about it once he learned a new catch phrase. this has not worked. next, i decided to tell him that it wasnt a nice thing to say. i dont think he cared much. then i told him flat out that he just wasnt allowed to say it. try telling any toddler that... not gonna happen.

so as a last resort i have decided to give him a substitute. we now say 'darn it.' and i know everyone knows what he really wants to say, but what can you do? when hes frustrated hes gotta be able to let it out somehow, and if he needs to yell out 'darn it, daddy!' then we just have to deal with it for the time being. im sure its just a phase and i will soon be deailng with some other silliness next month...