morning lesbian.

so this is completely unrelated to my children in any way other than my husband, my sister and i are completely obsessed with a new game and my poor children may be slightly jealous of our iphones.

my husband and i went out to dinner a couple nights ago with some friends who all have iphones. being new to the club, the only things i really had on mine were some apps for the kids including a monster maker app, a diego game, and fun little way to call elmo. best mom ever, right? anyway, our friends told us about this game 'draw something,' everyone was cracking up about it so i installed right then. for those of you that have never played, its kinda like pictionary and word scramble together. someone draws a picture (you get to watch the whole process, not just the end result) and you guess what it is with the letters given to you.

i started playing it later that night once i put the kids down, and our friends were right. super fun, super hilarious. so of course i had to get my husband on the bandwagon. shortly after i got my sister to jump right on that cart with us.

i have some friends that are super good at it, for instance:



but i have definitely gotten some pictures that i had absolutely no idea what the heck they were and if i had known that my obsession would grow so great as to write a blog post about it, i wouldve taken a picture. but, on to the best part of this story.

yesterday i got a picture from my sister. it started out being a blonde woman with blue eyes. im looking at it for awhile thinking that it could be almost any woman, then slowly writing starts to appear at the top... it says, in the most ridiculous kindergarten looking writing that i have ever seen, 'morning lesbian.' i start laughing when i realize that my sister has attempted to draw 'ellen.'

so the next time youre flipping through the channels and you see that ellen is on, or you see one of the many new jc penny commercials, just remember 'morning lesbian.'

darn it, daddy!

hes probaby too cool for darn it...
as some of you may know, my older child has recently started saying 'dannit.' and while dannit doesnt look bad, it is clearly his toddler version of damn it.

of course there have been some arguments as to who is the one to blame for our foul mouthed minor... my husband says that i say it in reference to our dog who is often standing right in front of me when i try to walk around holding the baby. i say that my husband says it in frustration to one of the many household fix ups that isnt quite cooperating with him. and anyone that knows my mom knows that 'dammit,' couldve almost been considered her catch phrase for a time. she has cleaned up her act since our little mockingbird has learned to speak, but the blame game prevails.

i must admit in my 'things my toddler shouldnt say' post that i am the culprit behind my sweet blonde haired baby saying 'crap.' i say crap like its going out of style. and while it isnt the worst thing he could say, it certainly isnt desirable, and neither are the looks from judgy parents when my child says it at the completely appropriate time of dropping his juice cup.

so, after trying to hide our giggles the first couple times that 'dannit' escaped from his lips, we have all decided to ignore his little cursings, hoping that he would forget about it once he learned a new catch phrase. this has not worked. next, i decided to tell him that it wasnt a nice thing to say. i dont think he cared much. then i told him flat out that he just wasnt allowed to say it. try telling any toddler that... not gonna happen.

so as a last resort i have decided to give him a substitute. we now say 'darn it.' and i know everyone knows what he really wants to say, but what can you do? when hes frustrated hes gotta be able to let it out somehow, and if he needs to yell out 'darn it, daddy!' then we just have to deal with it for the time being. im sure its just a phase and i will soon be deailng with some other silliness next month...

2 doctors, 1 day.

our day started a little before 7 when the big boy woke up.

fast forward through the morning routine of yelling about breakfast, trying to hurry the dogs business trip outside along, begging my two year old to put on his shoes, and then the awesome balancing act of putting of long gangly toddler into a carseat while holding my plump little nugget of a baby.

it is now 9:45.

next stop: moms to grab her gps.

gps acquired we finally START the day. running a little late, i decided to for once follow the gps' advised directions instead of going my norm route thinking she (the gps) might know some secret passage that i, in my 29 years of life in the northern virginia area am not aware of... she says i will get to the doctors office at exactly the right time so what the hey.

i realize that she is making me get on the toll road; the $4 toll road. i dont know about you, but to me thats pretty steep when i can just get on a couple of other side roads and get to the same destination for free. im already spending $4 per gallon for gas, do i really need to pay $4 to drive on a road? so ive already chosen my destiny and i have no choice but to pay, but then i remember i have no cash and momentarily go through a mental freak out about running the toll and then receiving a terrible ticket costing me more than the original $4 that i didnt even want to pay in the first place. but after a quick call to the moms, all is well, they accept cards. yay.

we get to the sleep center at the exact right time. awesome. then for the next hour i listen to the doctor give me the low down on exactly what is wrong with my child. he does in fact have obstructive sleep apnea due to a million things they discovered during his overnight stay. he also has restless leg syndrome. so from the one visit i now need to make appts to have his blood drawn, to see an ent, and another follow up with the sleep center. and thats just if all goes well with the ent and bloodwork- if not, then more appts will definitely be made. fun. and i get to listen to all of this while trying to entertain my now bored children. not an easy task. we finally make it out of there, all the while my toddler is crying that he needs milk and a nap- i give him the milk and promise that we are going home for nap time. pic of the overnight stay at the sleep center. sad panda.


i lied.

when i put the baby in his carseat i realize that his face is swollen. rewind to this morning: the baby wakes up, i start to change his diaper and realize he has a rash all over his entire body. it doesnt seem to be bothering him so i assume it is just a reaction to something he ate the day before. i give him some allergy meds and we continue on with our morning routine. so now his face is swollen and the rash has not improved at all with the meds. so i call the nurse at the pediatricians office and leave a message asking if i should bring him in... btw, i dont know why i even call to ask- they ALWAYS make me bring them in.

it is now 1pm, we are in leesburg and the peds office wants me to bring the littles in at 4. so im thinking by the time we get home, calm the boys down and chilled out for naptime, ill be waking them up to go back to the dr. i ask about the other location and awesome they have a 2pm appt available. so we drive directly from leesburg to haymarket for the next appt.

he is fine. the dr agrees that it is an allergic reaction to something but since its not bothering him and the swelling has gone down were just keeping him on the allergy meds for a few days. yay!

we get back into the rover. me, one sleepy baby, and a loud, screaming, grumpy, overtired toddler. then i remember that im almost out of allergy meds and i need to stop for more...

we finally get home around 4:30. my children are exhausted. i had a salad for dinner, the baby had baby food, and the toddler had pancakes.

its been one of those days.

but theyre cute.

sleeping, flip flops, its all the same.

i truly do not understand the phenomenon that is tired children. for some reason when children are tired they do not have the ability to just go to sleep like regular people. im not sure why, i dont think the concept is that hard, when im sleepy, i just go to bed. but for some reason my children do not know that when they are tired they can just close their eyes and take care of business. instead they cry and scream about how tired they are... literally, the older one will scream 'night night,' but to actually go to sleep on his own. no way.

its almost like standing in a fully stocked kitchen and whining about how hungry you are. ok, maybe its not totally like that because who hasnt stood in front of the fridge with door open for a good 7 minutes and still not found anything to eat. maybe its more like getting ready to walk out the door, looking at your flip flops and for some reason unbeknownst to you, you are unequipped to actually put them on your feet therefore rendering you unable to leave the house. yeah, i think its more like that.

so if anyone wants to come over and teach my children how to put on flip flops and go to sleep on their own it would be greatly appreciated. thanks.

the magic of 'no.'

i want a no 'no button.'

at some point my sweet, adorable baby boy learned that he has the amazing ability to say 'no.' and since this discovery was made he has been putting it to use no less than 178 times a day.

he says no to everything.

::at lunch time me: 'do you want a sandwich or yogurt?'
him: 'no.'

::at playtime me: 'are you having fun with your cars?'
him: 'no.'

::at snack time me: 'would you like some fruit?' (his fave)
him: 'no.'

basically at any point where 'no' could possibly be an answer, and even in cases where it makes no sense as an answer, it IS his answer. we will even be doing nothing, maybe im making dinner and hes playing near me, he will just say 'no mom, no' for no reason. he just likes to say no.

the worst part if the whole situation is that in my head if hes saying 'no,' then that means he knows what 'no' means. so when i tell him no to something and he continues doing whatever it was he was doing, then he is specifically ignoring what i said. not cool big guy, not cool.

im really hoping the little one isnt hearing all of this 'no' talk and scheming in his cute head about all the things he is silently saying no to...

i should get an award.

breastfeeding is difficult for many different reasons.

of course theres the issues of mama being the only one to get up in the middle of the night, the annoyingly boring task of trying to pump if you know youll be out, the awesomely fun scavenger hunt for the 'nice bathrooms' at the mall that lend to more comfortable nursing, and the oh so embarrassing problem of occasional leakage in public.

while the above mentioned things arent the most awesome, none of these are my biggest issue with breastfeeding my child. i feel like the sweet bonding time we share together and knowing that i am the only one able to do it are worth all the troubles... except for one.

my child bites.

he doesnt have teeth just yet, but they might as well be in there. he is teething like his only goal in life is to get those teeth out. every waking moment he has to have something is his mouth, either a toy, his fingers, your fingers, a blanket, anything. but the most awful part of it all is when he gets his undeterrable urge to bite while part of me is in his mouth. not cool.

it is especially unpleasant during the 4 am feeding.

heres the scenerio: baby starts stirring just a bit, i wake up, turn on the bathroom light and mostly close the door (i need a little light- my aim isnt perfect). i get the baby up, we sit in the nursing chair, and while we are both half asleep he begins to nurse. in the middle of fighting my own body to stay awake there is a sudden stab of pain! of course i cry out, (i mean, come on, someone just bit my boob) and my voice startles the baby who also then cries out. from there on it is just a downward spirial of crying and sadness from all parties. but soon enough i get us both calmed down and resume the nursing.

im pretty sure i sure get an award or something.




a picture of the cute little biter.

adventures in grocery store land.

as those of you with children are well aware, just trying to get out of the house is an ordeal in itself. i often find myself so frazzled by running around like a crazy person trying to get the boys together that by the time im ready to actually leave the house, i dont even want to go where i was going anymore.

i mean really... a typical day would go something like this.

wake up, feed kids. straighten up after breakfast and realize while flitting around the kitchen that i am missing an ingredient or two for dinner, so my next thought is 'oh well that gives us a reason to get out of the house for a bit, we'll just run to the store real quick.' real quick are the key words here...

once it has been decided that we need to leave the house there are numerous things that need to be done before the errand can be accomplished. first, i need to get myself ready which is never pleasant because there are two boys under the age of 2 that have both decided that at that exact moment they absolutely require my immediate attention. so if you have seen me out lately and noticed my lack of make-up and hair that looks like it may or may not have been brushed you now know why.

the second task at hand is getting the boys ready. the little one is easy enough because he cant really go anywhere to escape the changing of the diaper and clothes. score! one kid down. his brother, however is a completely different story. once he knows we're getting ready to go somewhere he is super excited, but at the same time completely unwilling to cooperate in any way. so i have to chase him down and change his diaper and put clean clothes on him all while listening to him cry about the car that he dropped while wrestling to get away from me. finally two kids, dressed and ready to go.

the last and most important thing to do before leaving is the sorting and filling of the diaper bag. this might be the worst part of the getting ready process just because i have to totally empty the thing before i can start adding supplies because i have a terrible habit of thinking that there are plenty of size 2 diapers in there when really i have 37 size 4's and no size 2's. so i dump everything out and separate everything between what is the big boys and what is the little boys. (i really honestly tried to have to separate bags for the boys to make it easier on the arranging and when one is left with someone and somebody else has the other... it works about 30% of the time) once i figure out what i need to grab, the extra outfits and diapers, i just kinda leave everything hangin because i now have to make the emergency bottle for the little man, fill up the big boys juice and snack cups, and make sure i have binks for both. while i am doing these things i realize that big boy is unusally quiet which is never a good thing, so i walk over to the diaper bag only to discover that the package of disposable wipes that i failed to zip back in the bag protecting it from little toddler hands has been completely emptied and i now also have a pile of unused wipes that i have to shove back into their home. fun.

we are finally ready to go, right?! wrong. while i was getting everything together, cleaning up big boys mess, and putting the dog up, the little man has either spit up all over his outfit or had the biggest poo poo explosion of life, the remedy of either situation requires a costume change.

boys are now both clean and everything is ready to go. i first take out boy #1, buckle him in his seat, make sure he has his juice cup and a toy. then i run back in to get baby boy #2, put his seat in the base and start the truck, yay, finally on our way! we get to the store approx. 3 minutes later and while getting the big boy out of his seat, i realize his shorts are soaked with the juice from his cup that he let drain all over his lap.

its a good thing its summer, he'll dry quickly.