story time.

so i run into the drugstore real quick the other day to pick up a prescription for my dad... i kinda have to pee but theres no line so i think im good.

behind the counter the one million pharmacists are discussing who is on break, who should be on break, and who should be helping customers (me).

someone finally draws the short straw and asks me the name, i give him my dads name and proceed to sneeze, real hard about three times. neither i, nor my bladder were prepared for this.

after six months of triumph, i am now back to the peeing a little when i sneeze phase. only this time peeing a little, three times in a row ended up being more than i am used to... not even cool.

i dropped the rx at my dads, went home and took a shower.

the end.


just a few days shy of 36 weeks... 31 days to go

two chairs, one day.

taken at 33 weeks, the day we signed on our house!

so ive been a little behind this month with the blogging... actually, ive written a few but with the stealing of the internets that ive been doing until ours gets hooked up, i seem to lose what im working on more often than not.



i had my baby shower! woooo! it was a pretty fun time, none of those traditional games like the candy bars in the diapers... we had a preggo race, which was hilarious! we also got tons of very useful items for the little man, i think we are offically ready for his arrival! wade got our baby furniture yesterday and after updating the registries, i think we are good to go. now we wait.

i will be 36 weeks in a couple days and it is getting more and more impossible to find a semi-comfortable position to sleep in, so i am totally ready to have this baby... come on ashely!

oh my goodness, let me tell you a terrible story from my weekend...

so were hanging out at a friends house for a cook out, and im sitting on an old wooden rocking bench. im just sitting there, talking and rocking, for probably a good hour or so, every once in awhile someone will come and sit next to me and rock with me. so im sitting all alone when probably the skinniest friend i have comes and sits down and the bench cracks. we totally broke the bench. not cool. so another one of the guys gets up and gives me the metal folding chair he is sitting on, and this is not a small man, he is definitely a 'guy guy.' earlier in the day this chair also served as a resting spot for another friend and his girlfriend on his lap... so im sitting on this metal chair for at least another good hour when it too decides that the pregnant lady is just too much too handle and drops me on my butt onto the concrete floor. i broke two chairs in one day... embarrassing. i am now currently sporting two awesome purple bruises on my elbow where it hit the floor. awesome.

the name game.

nothing super new and exciting to report... one more week down, only about 5 to go! woohoo!

i went to the dr yesterday and everything is normal, my blood pressure was a little high, but its been pretty erratic for a bit so i dont think its a big deal. oh, and i might get one more ultrasound before the BIG DAY... the dr was feeling all around and determined that she has absolutely no idea what position the baby is in which doesnt matter much right now but if by my next appt they still cant tell then we will get an ultrasound to see for sure how this little man is hangin. fun fun.

i did have to go to the hospital last friday, and that was an experience... i continued to have contractions for about a week and a half after my last appointment and when they got stronger or i had other symptoms i called the nurse, told her what was up and then got her advice, so friday she said she wanted me to go to the hospital just to get monitored and make sure everything was ok. so we get there and everything was very laid back, very awesome, and we actually ran into a couple of friends that were being induced that day, how fun is that?

fast forward: im finally in a room being strapped to the fetal monitor when the lady comes in to ask about insurance information and basically gets herself into a tizzy when they realize that my drivers license doesnt have the same name as my insurance card (which doesnt have my name on it at all, i am listed as 'spouse'). they then explain that i may see my name listed as my maiden name and not to be alarmed, but really my maiden name is my last name since i havent changed it. i cant believe some women freak out about things like that... so while all of this is going on, i am informed by the nurse who is also in the room that they are going to monitor the baby and my contractions but they also need a 'clean' urine sample. clearly she saw the confusion in my face because she proceeded to tell me that a 'clean' urine sample is collected by catheter. so yay, i had my first catheter expereince.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catheter

so after all of that, the baby is fine, im still having mild contractions but i was sent home to rest.

freakshow.

so ive decided that the first three months, and the last two months of pregnancy are pretty much the most uncomfortable and the most disgusting. i basically traded vomitting and gagging daily for heartburn like lava in my throat and leaky nipples. awesome.

in the past, i dont know, maybe three weeks i have woken up a handful of times with grossness on my shirt because i have inadvertantly lactated on myself. how weird and gross is that? so not only do my massive boobies call attention to themselves because they are absolutley huge, they now also lay claim to an awesome fountain effect. i am a freakshow. its a good thing i really dont need to go out in public very often.

ok, now for a real update. the contractions are still coming on daily but nothing that has forced me to go to the hospital to get monitored again. although after telling my ob about an episode the other night, i think she wouldve preferred me going just to make sure everything was ok. but im pretty convinced that since the contractions are the worst at night, they are being brought on by dehydration, so once i drink gallons of water they slowly go away and then my sleeplessness is due to having to pee every 12.7 minutes instead of the cramps accompanied by what i can only describe as a charlie horse of my entire stomach.

in other news, we're in the new house! woohoo! and i am convinced that there is a ghost in the averys room. i keep seeing stelly (our bulldog) sneak in there after i think that ive shut the door. so i go to shut the door... again... taking extra care to make sure the handle has 'locked' into place and the second i turn my back i hear a 'click' and the door pops open again... maybe i just have an overactive imagination sitting around this house by myself.

oh pregnancy.

just got back from the ob a bit ago...

it was just a regular check up, but after telling the dr that i was cramping pretty much all day yesterday and i havent been feeling him move a whole lot the past couple days, they decided to hook me up to a fetal monitor for a non-stress test. i was thinking the lack of movement was just due to him having less room, but i guess they just wanted to make sure.

so i basically hung out with the monitors strapped on and i was supposed to click a button everytime i felt the baby move. it was kinda weird... and i decided during the test, which lasted about 15-20 minutes, that we are so lucky that we dont walk around hearing the baby's heartbeat constantly. at one point he dropped from the 150's all the way down to the 80's, and hearing the drop freaked me out. the dr said its normal that babies heartrates do go up and down and it wasnt anything to worry about.

after looking over the results, the dr determined that i am having mild contractions so i was lucky enough to get an internal exam! yay!.. total sarcasm for those of you that dont know the sarcasm that is krp. but i am all good, and my cervix is still closed, woohoo! i just need to monitor the number of contractions i have in an hour, and how often my little man moves.

now im real tired and ive decided that a non-stress test is in actuality a bit stressful. i was feeling like things were normal and then got hooked up to a machine. oh pregnancy.

sicily, 1922.

so we finally hit the 32 week mark which apparently is a huge milestone. and as the baby is putting on more and more weight, he is slowly crushing all of my internal organs. i can barely walk up the steps with stopping to 'take a breather.' yes, i am aware that i am very much like an old person.

picha dis... (said in the voice of sophia from the golden girls)

sicily, 1922. (ha ha, kidding, still with sophia in my mind) a couple weeks ago, my mom, my sister and i are going to costco after a day of running errands all over northern va. i am starving so i force them to stop at burger king for me to feed this little man throwing a fit inside of me. i get a double cheesburger and a medium drink, not knowing at the time that burger king has sneakily changed all their sizes and i am actually getting a large drink which is absolutely gigantic, im pretty sure i had a liter of cola.

so we're walking into costco and i have my hands full with burger and aforementioned liter of cola when i catch a glimpse of myself in the reflection of some windows... i am wearing only a wifebeater tank top which stretches quite comfortably over my large belly, and jeans. the tank top has ridden up during my waddle into the costco revealing the lower portion of my round mountain (it can no longer be described in cute terms like 'bump'). needless to say, i was disgusted by myself and proceeded to yell at the only two women in my life i would expect to call me out on something like this no matter what!

their one defense was that its a long way to see the underside of my belly... they did promise to tell me that if i ever leave the house without the bottoms to my bikini on, they would notice and inform, since i have recently admitted that i can no longer see that area of myself.